“These waters rise around me, these swells are lifting. No longer can I see beyond where I am sinking. It is not fear that grips me, but a longing to be found, a longing to be known. I float slowly lower and I think, ‘Will my lighthouse loose its foundations, take to sea and find me?’ I cannot see a lighthouse, but I know it stands somewhere out there, lighting a dark and empty night. Try with all my might, I might try to search this night, longing for your light. I have never watched a lighthouse as it jumps into the sea in search of me. I shall not lose hope, for no eye had ever seen a God become man and cast himself into the sea; willingly wearing a millstone around his neck. Alas, no eye had ever seen such strength, as that God become man, straining against the sea after sinking to the most frightening depths. No eye had ever seen such strength that carried him from those depths, and revealed a God, a Savior, a Slain Living King.
A God was made man and struck down, I have faith even now that my lighthouse can swim, He can breathe, He is coming to me. My lighthouse is not made of brick and mortar, sand and stone. He breathes through flesh and blood, muscle and bone. My lighthouse does not sit safely upon a shore, he braves hellish waters to save my drowning soul. I do not search for His light in the sky, He searches my night, and He is mine.”
I hope this encourages you, friends. I have found in my walk with Jesus that He is violently passionate about us and our hearts. The thought of your heart existing anywhere other than in the palm of His hands pains Him deeply. He does not stew on this pain either, He seeks us out until we both find sweet relief. Jesus is well aware of how helpless we are in the battle for holiness, but he is far from unsympathetic! He descended to the depths of hell and returned victorious! He stood in the midst of an unformed and chaotic abyss, and spoke order and beauty into Creation! He took the nails forged for us so that the veil would be torn! No thing can separate us from Him. No place that you find yourself can scare Him away. He is eternally ready to pounce headlong into whatever nasty mess you find yourself, simply because He desires so passionately and so earnestly for you to know you are not alone, to know that you are deeply and intimately loved. So, my beloved, rest. Rest in the knowledge that the flimsy dam of sin can never hold back the flood of mercy and grace that is Jesus Christ.