It is hard to comprehend the magnitude of Jesus being fully man and fully God. Throughout scripture we see examples of Him displaying His christlike character. We see purity, healing, and wisdom to learn from and watch unfold. But what about when He showed His humanness? Shouldn’t we stop and learn from those moments as well?
I have dealt with a lot of disappointment in my lifetime. From simple things to the tension of asking the Father for healing. One thing that I am realizing about disappointment, however, is that I felt shame when I was disappointed. My head would immediately start thinking that I needed to believe the Lord was good and not feel my disappointment. That I wasn’t trusting the Lord enough if I felt disappointed. To toughen up and not feel those emotions.
But then I heard the story of Jesus in the garden of gethsemane again. How He fell on his knees and wept before God. He prayed for a way out. Instead of feeling shame for His emotions, He brought it to God and said this is how I feel. Help me. And I believe that God, in all His glory, bent down next to Jesus and wept with Him. He allowed Him to feel the great pain because this was His cross to carry. To save humanity meant He would endure this pain. He felt these emotions but didn’t stay in them. He rose from the grave and defeated them so that you and I could feel the same freedom.
I felt a release when I realized that I was allowed to feel disappointed and that I wouldn’t have to stay in it. That it was in fact strong to feel all of my emotions when I took them to the Lord because the truth is He felt those too when He was fully man. Complex theology aside, the simplicity of relationship with Jesus is that we get to go to Him with our tough questions, emotions, and thoughts. He provides a beautiful space for us to retreat to Him despite our shortcomings and mess ups. Thank you, Jesus, for your loving friendship. Thank you that we can be transparent with you. That we can get on our knees as you did in the garden and crack open our chests to you. You are the sweetest best friend that we could ask for while living in this world. I would be lost without you.