A Psalm

I was recently moved to tears by the words of David in Psalm 32. He was so torn between his knowledge of God’s perfect love and the confusing state of his life at the time. Unashamed, he admitted his frustrations and in the same breath praised the orchestrator. He accepted his small understanding of God’s working, but never faltered in seeking a deeper more intimate knowledge of God. Recently, I have found myself in a season of wavering faith and misunderstandings. Writing authentically about God and his goodness has become difficult as I feign having it all together. As my frustration came to a peak, I began to pour out my thoughts to God in this Psalm. As it unfolded I realized that God is not absent in my life, and I have not lost my faith in Him. I was merely too afraid to be honest with Him. That honesty was met with truth and my fear, abolished. I know that many of you are struggling to rationalize this state of affairs we find ourselves in, but God is waiting to meet your apprehension with assurance. My prayer for you is that you would have the boldness to share your heart with Him, to share your anger with Him, to share your sadness with Him, and then, the most life-changing step, to be still as He speaks. He will remind you of His promises and stir up his Spirit within you.

My heart is hungry for your milk and honey,
my body is human and fails me.
I feel far from you, and far from your reach,
my faith has been shaken by the things of this world.
My praises feel fake as they leave my lips,
my arms tire quickly when I hold them up to You.
I have rationed my hope, holding out for spring,
but my storehouses have been emptied.
I know the spring will come,
but if the winter should persist, it is by your hand,
the seasons answer only to You .
I have tasted your goodness and reclined at your table,
I have cried at your feet and have not been found wanting.
I have talked with You in intimate places,
in the bright light of day I have cursed Your name.
Still I will praise You in this winter,
I will not leave your name unspoken.

Your faithfulness always shines through,
in times of dearest need and in times of abundance.
I will hold on to winter for the fruit it may bear,
and for the time spent in secret with You.
The depth of your love and the width of your grace,
my only response is to let you be King.
Though your ways escape me,
I will see that they are good.
Though my vision is small,
I will turn it towards you.

My heart is hungry for your milk and honey,
your Word will sustain me.
My body is human and fails me,
your Word will sustain me.
I feel far from you, and far from your reach,
your Word will be my truth.
My faith has been shaken by the things of this world,
your Word will be my strength.
My praises feel fake as they leave my lips,
your Word will be my praise.
My arms tire quickly when I hold them up to you,
your Word will sustain me.

-Matty

 

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