I look out of the window that sits above the kitchen sink in a house unfamiliar to me. It is nestled in the side of a cliff overlooking the sea. Sailboats are lining the sides of the harbor waiting to be released into the open ocean. I take a sip of my coffee as I watch the sailboats prepare for the journey to freedom and think about the parallel to my story. I think about how sailing began with the stars as a guide. So much unknown and left to the temperament of mother nature. How would it feel to leave everything behind and be consumed with the excitement of an open ocean? How would it sound to be enveloped by the thick blanket of silence except for the laps of the salt water against your boat? How would it taste to be disciplined in your conservation of water all the while being surrounded by it? What would it look like at night when the stars are so close you feel as though you are dancing among them? What would it smell like to be removed from the pollution of modern society?

I am brought back to my little house over the sea and watch as the sailors prepare the boats for launch. So much work and effort going into the journey for there is no backup plan out in the open. You either bring the right supplies or you don’t. I think about what the adrenaline rush must feel like when the harbor finally opens for them to be released. Are they double checking the mental lists of things to bring or are they solely focused on what is ahead? I see some sailors are alone in their endeavors and some have company to enjoy their journey with. I guess either one serves a purpose. 

The time is approaching for the harbor to be opened. The sailors are making their final preparations and there seems to be a buzz in the air. They have been waiting so long for this moment. For what lies ahead. The opportunities, the adventure, and the risks all come into play. The sky seems clear and there is a nice breeze- a perfect day. All of the sudden the harbor is opened and in that moment I feel a slight hesitation. Can it be true? Is it really time? The sailboats begin their journey out to the open ocean and I look down at my watch. The time reads 9:21. I stand there watching from my window a little confused from all the build up but all the same relieved to see the boats finally making their way.

I am awoken from my dream and my eyes open. The numbers 9:21 are seared in my mind and I pick up my phone to search scripture for the meaning. 

Matthew 9:21: “for she thought, ‘If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.’” 

Tears roll down my face as I feel His smile on me. 

“Welcome to the open ocean, my dear child.” 

-Lis