Our ability to receive takes us from simply knowing to truly believing. It feels like I have spent so much time stuck on the knowing side in so many areas of my life. It didn’t matter how great the worship service was or how many times I tried reading the Bible or if I tried having quiet time with Jesus. It always felt like I still struggled to truly believe who Jesus was and who I was in Christ.
My actions never seemed to match up with what I knew to be true. I would follow my actions and find what I really believed. I wanted to start believing in what I knew to be true, but I didn’t know how. I felt like nothing ever worked. Then, one day when I was twenty one years old, the Lord taught me how to receive.
The Lord told me that He wanted me to come home every night earlier than normal to spend thirty minutes with Him before going to bed. Now I would love to say that I was faithfully obedient and never missed a day but that just wouldn’t be true. As the weeks went on I would probably end up doing it three to four days out of the week. This went on for about a three month long period. At the time I had no idea what was going on, but looking back I can clearly see that Jesus was teaching me how to receive.
I would get home and take my shoes off and toss my backpack on the floor. I would sit on the couch and turn on “Great Are You Lord”. After a couple minutes would roll by, I would begin to cry uncontrollably. This would last anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour. I would then stop crying and get up and go brush my teeth and shower and then go to bed. I never knew at that time what was happening, all I knew was it felt so good to lie on the couch and cry. I felt so comforted and loved. God felt so close. I felt very safe.
God would speak to me in those times, telling me how much He loved me and how He thought about me. It was simple and yet it was always such a powerful and profound moment. God was revealing His love for me. It was His love, affection, delight, and His pleasure. He was giving all of that to me. Jesus had so much of His love that he wanted to give me but the distractions of life we’re getting in the way so that I never took time to simply receive. Because I listened to what He told me to do, it put me into a position to receive. Many areas of my life were changed during those three months.
By setting aside time each night to receive whatever the Lord wanted to give me, I began to move from a place of knowing to believing. I had no agenda, I didn’t take with me a bunch of tools to help me connect with God. I simply brought myself before the Lord and I opened up my hands before Him to receive whatever it was that He had for me. All I brought to the table was my simple obedience, what the Lord brought to the table was the feast.