Today I have found myself feeling like garbage. At the core, I am feeling like I’m not good enough. I have found myself thinking unhealthy thoughts. I’ve felt sick in my stomach, like a big rock is sinking deep inside me. I found many situations in my day triggering me and causing me to feel worthless.
I went to my phone to try and ignore this sick feeling, hoping that it would go away. I watched YouTube videos and watched video game streamers. I ate some food and snacked on some Cheez It’s, hoping that would make me feel better. I tried texting friends. Nothing fixed the problem. I still feel terrible.
Half of me knows I need to bring this to the Lord and the other half of me doesn’t want to. I’d rather just keep sulking here at work. But I’m not going to. I know what’s going wrong in my life right now. I’m allowing the situations and circumstances of life tell me who I am and how I am doing. I know that what I really need right now, is to hear how Jesus thinks about me. So I’m gonna do that right now.
Luke: “Jesus, help.”
Jesus: “Everything about you Luke is wonderful. I made you just the way that you are and I am perfectly happy with it. I wouldn’t change a thing. You are the one that I love. I love everything about you. You are not a loser, you are not stupid. You are funny and enjoyable to be around. You care deeply about people. Deeper than most people ever dare to explore because you aren’t scared of the darkness inside of people. You are the bearer of light. You are Luke Kennedy.
Compassion is your compass and the fire of God is your weapon. You truly care about my children and that makes me happy. I am very proud of you. I am proud of the small decisions you make every day and I am proud of your obedience to me. I am glad that you have decided to remain tender and soft even when you get hurt.
The light that shines within you is Hope, and all that are around you are affected by that light whether they realize it or not. Luke, you are worth it and you are good enough. I’m very pleased with the way that I made you. I am glad that you choose to spend time with me. I am sorry that you have been feeling like you are not good enough.
I’m not leaving, I’m right here. I am smiling and I am happy because I am spending this time with you. Thanks for not giving up. Thanks for choosing me every time. You have chosen me even when it didn’t make sense or when it really hurt. Luke, I’m really proud of you. Don’t ever be anything different than yourself. I like you just the way that you are.”
Life can suck, a lot. But you have no excuse to not turn to Jesus and ask Him for help. He is always there with all that you need.
Will you allow him to help you?