11 I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. 12 His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. 13 He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. 14 The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. 15 Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron scepter.” He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. 16 On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:
KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS – Revelation 19:11-16
As a child, I was often in love with the idea of Jesus being my closest friend. How wonderful it was to see Him in that way. To know that he would never leave me, never make fun of me, never reject me. He was (and is) the ultimate friend. Yet, as a man, I have found that there is an even deeper desire born in the very depths of my being: that Jesus would be the absolute authority in my life. That he would be my King. This desire feels like the manifestation of my very identity as a human being, yet it seems to have been suppressed for much of my life by my own selfish tendencies. I need a king in my life. Someone who commands me and expects me to obey him without question or hesitation. The Commander and Chief, who has a mission in which he is allowing me to take part. Sometimes I forget that my life isn’t about me. It’s not even about my mission, or my destiny, or my calling. It’s about my King. My King gave me free will, and it is my honor to lay that free will down at his feet and do his bidding down to the letter.
I had forgotten this reality recently. I was caught up in my own free will. Enjoying the freedom of knowing that as an “adult,” I can do whatever I want and go wherever I want. It was like when I moved out from my parents’ house. So much freedom! And then suddenly I was faced with a harsh reality: now I’m solely responsible for myself, and there is no one else making sure that I will make good, healthy decisions. I needed a reminder that structure, direction, and accountability are all tools that aren’t really fun to use, but they protect me from myself. I needed a reminder of who was King in my life.
I pledged myself to the King. In that moment, I knew that my life was no longer my own. So now, I am bound by his word and driven by his command. There is no choice left for me in the matter. I made my choice. I am His, now and forever. Some may see this as an unbearable reality. I see it as my greatest honor. I have tried to govern myself; it has never worked in my favor, and the consequences have lined up at my door to slap me in the face one at a time. How much better it is to be governed by my wise King who loves me deeply.
My King is the epitome of love. He is a fierce and powerful warrior. He is the Great Avenger, who seeks out my enemies and inflicts upon them the fullness of his wrath. He is a just ruler, never wavering from his divine wisdom and holy judgement. He is a great friend, yes, but he is my King. His word is the law. He presence demands reverence, awe, and respect. His word will never return to him void. He speaks it, and it is done. It is my pleasure to be in his service. It is my joy to be bound to his will. It is my honor to be called by name by my glorious King. May he ever reign in darkest and loneliest caverns of my heart.
LONG LIVE THE KING